Summer flavor

Schlitterbahn makes a splash with ridiculously over-the-top new treats

Schlitterbahn makes a splash with ridiculously over-the-top new treats

Schlitterbahn mermaid funnel cake
Dive into Schlitterbahn's new Mermaid Funnel Cake. Schlitterbahn/ Instagram

When you think of Schlitterbahn Waterparks & Resorts, you probably think of the lazy river, the giant slides, or maybe one of those fringed and beaded T-shirts you can only really get away with wearing on vacation. But thanks to the mad scientists in the company’s kitchens, you have a whole new reason to dive in — the over-the-top food.

Starting June 25, the New Braunfels-based chain began teasing new dishes at all five locations during its annual food week. (And strictly based on aesthetics, let's just say these snacks will all look great on your Instagram Stories this summer.)

According to a release, each of Schlitterbahn’s Texas parks is getting its own distinctive treats. In New Braunfels, try a Cookie Blaster Funnel Cake, a beastly fried dough masterpiece topped with whipped cream, a scoop of Blue Bell’s Blue Monster (Smurf-colored vanilla with cookies, cream, and chocolate), a fried Oreo, and a chocolate drizzle.

Need a drink? Order the American Colada. The traditional piña colada is swirled with blue rum and red sangria for a patriotic sipper essential for your selfies.

Over on Galveston Island, Schlitterbahn has introduced a loaded waffle cone that may give KFC and Taco Bell’s outrageous creations a run for their money. Filled with chicken tenders and your choice of mashed potatoes or mac ’n’ cheese (we bet if you ask nicely, they’ll give you a little bit of both), it’s the perfect on-the-go snack when you are taking a break between attractions.

That location also has a new spicy Southwest Burger loaded with black beans, corn salsa, nacho cheese, and jalapeños. You can’t go wrong with pairing it with a mangonada-like mango chili lime Icee.

Schlitterbahn South Padre Island has some Tex-Mex inspired flavors courtesy of the Cheetoslote, a dressed corn on the cob crusted with Hot Cheetos. That location also offers a pretzel stuffed with caramel and sprinkled with sea salt that’ll make you say, “Auntie Anne? Never heard of her.”

Finally, the Corpus Christi park went all in with pulled pork. Get it on a pizza with blended cheeses, red bell pepper, and barbecue sauce or on ballpark nachos. And don’t miss the very of-the-moment Mermaid Funnel Cake crowned with electric blue ice cream and topped with swirly iridescent bark.

All of the treats will be available throughout the summer. As with Pokemon, you’ll want to catch them all.