VALENTINE'S VENGEANCE

San Antonio Zoo feeds the drama with Cry Me a Cockroach campaign

The San Antonio Zoo is ride or die against your toxic exes.

Wikimedia Commons/ Public Domain

The San Antonio Zoo is once again giving in to peak pettiness. The Alamo City institution is bringing back its Cry Me a Cockroach Valentine’s Day fundraiser, allowing spurned lovers a chance to get sweet, sweet revenge.

The annual promotion works like this: Shell out $5 to name a cockroach or vegetable after a not-so pleasant ex, then watch as zookeepers feed it to an animal. A $15 donation gives locals the chance to name a rodent, who may or may not escape.

If donors want to get messy, they can download a video of the roach (or veggie) buffet to post on social media. We suggest accompanying it with any track from Lily Allen’s 2025 breakup opus, West End Girl.

The zoo is also bringing back several popular events for those who are still in the throes of romance, including intimate Naughty by Nature VIP tours of the park and the Wild at Heart dining experience in the hippo viewing cave.

Animal Kiss-o-Grams, videos of animals booping the camera, are available for $10. Less conventional couples can also take home the Hippo Love Candle for $15.99, scented by the “ultimate cologne in the hippo world,” poop. It may be an unlikely accompaniment to snogging, but it is a chance to scandalize a Yankee Candle-loving in-law.

Lastly, the zoo is again playing cupid through its 21-plus Meet Your Next Ex event on February 7. The $37.85 ticket gives singles access to the ultimate mixer with drinks, a variety show, icebreaking games, and color-coded stickers that let other guests know you’re on the prowl.

Donations made to any of the campaigns are tax-deductible and raise funds for the zoo’s educational programs, animal care, and wildlife conservation. Moony couples and feisty free agents can find more details on the San Antonio Zoo’s website.

fundraisers san antonio zoo valentines day

WHERE TO SHOP

Where to Shop in San Antonio: 6 go-to stops for everyday wellness

Southwest Elixirs/ Facebook

Stock up on cold-pressed juices at Southwest Elixirs.

New Year, new you. Making a wellness routine stick in San Antonio doesn’t have to be complicated. From curated health stores to specialty CBD shops, these six Alamo City destinations offer expert guidance, quality products, and experiences that support real, lasting well-being.

Alamo Botanicals
For those seeking a locally owned source for CBD products, Alamo Botanicals offers a thoughtfully curated selection of tinctures, topicals, capsules, and even CBD-infused candies, among other options. Known for its approachable, education-forward atmosphere, the shop caters to customers looking to manage everything from chronic pain to everyday stress and anxiety. While rooted in the local community, Alamo Botanicals also ships nationwide, extending its reach well beyond San Antonio.

Natural Remedy Store
Tucked into Stone Oak, Natural Remedy Store stands out for its consultative approach to wellness. More than a place to shop for supplements, the store functions as a resource for those navigating their individual health journeys. Its knowledgeable staff offers thoughtful, one-on-one guidance rooted in nutrition and holistic health, taking the time to understand each customer’s specific concerns before making recommendations.

Natural Remedy Store prides itself on personalized customer service.Natural Remedy Store/ Facebook

Queen Bee Juicery
Queen Bee Juicery is a local gem for cold-pressed juice and wellness goodies. From ginger shots and detox teas to Sea Moss Gel, smoothies, and locally roasted coffee, every sip and snack is made with fresh, high-quality ingredients—no added sugar or water. Beyond beverages, you’ll find local honey, kombucha, artisanal soaps, soy candles, gemstones, and more, making it a one-stop spot to nourish your body, delight your taste buds, and refresh your spirit.

Rhonda's Nature's Way
For over 50 years, Rhonda’s Nature’s Way has been a trusted local destination for health and wellness in San Antonio. Passed down from founder Vera Gross to her daughter Rhonda Bone, the store has long been committed to helping locals live their healthiest lives. With a carefully curated selection of high-quality supplements, natural foods, and wellness products — each thoroughly researched before hitting the shelves — Rhonda’s Nature’s Way offers both expertise and personalized guidance.

Southwest Elixirs San Antonio
A locally owned, plant-based wellness oasis, Southwest Elixirs makes Dry January feel vibrant and indulgent. With fresh-made juices, tonics, health shots, smoothies, bowls, and nourishing bites, Southwest Elixirs prides itself on healthy choices that make sense year-round. Enjoy a delicious drink while in the East Side shop, then take a cleanse kit home for later.

Terra Cafe
Located in the former home of Revolución Coffee, this Rim-area, health-conscious café highlights globally inspired coffees, cuisine, and wellness-forward beverages. With a wide selection of vegan offerings, nourishing coffee drinks, and fresh juices,it’s the perfect spot to refuel after a grueling workout. Stock up on cold-pressed juices before heading out the door — and maybe buy an artwork from its rotating gallery. After all, wellness isn’t just physical.

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