A dating app called After that started in Austin is getting its Texas-wide launch February 12. After wants to fix some of the most painful parts of online dating, with a special focus on ghosting.
The “unapologetically romantic” dating app is ready to help daters find love with features that indicate whether you’re a local or visitor, daily positive affirmations to promote mental wellbeing, a requirement to share a reason before you unmatch with someone, and more.
After founder Katie Dissanayake, who has a decade of experience working in the dating industry, experienced her own online dating dissatisfaction: before she met her husband on Tinder, she dealt with “the ghosting and disrespect and fatigue of swiping all day long.”
After’s Goodbye Ghosting feature was created to fix “the number one problem you hear about,” according to Dissanayake when the app first launched: ghosting on matches without a word.
When a user unmatches with someone on After, they can choose from a list of reasons why, like the vibes are off, distance is an issue, etc. Then the app will automatically send that user a “kind, unique message” that lets them know the conversation is over.
“A lot of people just don't want to have that awkward conversation,” she said. “The feature was really designed to promote accountability and also respect a choice that empowers one user, but also makes the other user feel better about the situation.”
Being from Austin, the app addresses some issues likely to be present in tourist cities, which San Antonio certainly isn't immune to. Dissanayake commonly heard from local daters who were frustrated with the transient nature of dating in a city that’s a popular tourist and work trip destination.
“We've heard a lot of people say that they'll match with somebody only to find out that they're only here for the weekend, or they'll go out on a date, and then they just feel like they were used as a tour guide,” Dissanayake said.
To address this, After users will be able to say whether they’re a local or visitor, where they’re visiting from, and whether they’re open to long-distance dating.
Another dating grumble? Matches that sit there and go nowhere because neither party starts a conversation or someone doesn't reply. On After, untouched matches expire after a while, and if someone messages you, you’re required to either respond or end the match before you can message anyone else. You also can’t like or dislike a profile until you scroll down to see more, encouraging more thoughtfulness and less mindless swiping.
“We tend to see with swiping apps that it becomes almost gamified, and it's just [something to do when you’re bored],” Dissanayake said. “We wanted more intentionality with After.”
Instead of instantly seeing a photo on each profile, you’ll see a blurb about “what makes that person themselves.” Then, yes, there are photos, and several sections meant to help people open up and be more vulnerable. They include different prompts to help you describe yourself in life (what does your everyday life look like?), love (what’s your love language?), and online (a place to show off your specially curated Spotify playlist).
Could it be true that romance isn’t dead online? Through daily mental health check-ins and daily empowering mantras, Dissanayake wants After to help make it so. It also presents supportive dating guides including how to stick to your boundaries and alcohol-free date ideas.
“We're trying to take care of the person beyond just dating and allow them to concentrate on finding a really romantic, loved-up situation,” Dissanayake said. “I don't know that we can fix all the Peter Pans in the world, but what I'm hoping to do is to create a community of people who actually want to be on the app and are looking for real connections.”